†††††††††† golden secrets in the flower

††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††

††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††† †††T.Wignesan

 

††††††††††††††††††† does it bloom in the subatomic quarkneuron

a flower†† petals deranged

††† burning with green rage

†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††† dark firmament pullulating††† infinitesimal quasars

††††††††††††††††††††††††† unpeeling layers of nuclear fusionsfissions

the blue-blackish greenish-blue haze

 

†††† is this the eye looking at the eye

††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††† †††††††††which I

††††††††† between the crushed ajŮa-eyebrows

†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††† under eyes straining to envelope reality from afar

spotty bright grains pulsating in a velvety ink-blue-black throbbing screen

††† thoughts racing forwards and backwards in time

 

childhood slights†† deprivations†† unrevenged hurts

††††† throbbing thriving on treacherous jabs by of-all beings†† friends

those who profit from taken-for-granted confidences

†††††††† the women who dun-you-in††††

thoughts of a nature to make you hate fate

 

then the pulsating roving churning dismembering coalescing screen

†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††† †††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††dissolves

and in the pale fringey opening white furry stripes on the blue-black greenish bulgey bed of velvet

††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††† whose I†††††

††† lights the frigid fire burning dynamo

††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††† whose eye†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††† ††††††††

††††††††††††††††††††† shrivels

†††††††††††† †††reopens††††††††††††† brightens

†††††††††††† †††††††††††what is it††† an eye

†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††† which stares

†† shrinks sharper by the fractioned second

†††††††† ††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††closes and opens again

††††††††††††† and again

till the pinpoint galactic blackholing centre

††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††† bigbangs

††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††† †††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††

††† the myriad diamondlights buoyed on a myriad-petalled dryburning flowering sun

†††††† shedding golden glory

††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††† expelling all thought or is it mere doubt

the intense unrelenting feeling of

††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††† †††is it joy††††††

††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††† or a fumbling stolen fear

†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††† the mental orgasmic relief

††††††††††††† the sense of deep other knowing power come face to face

††††††† refreshing retreading the worn-out neuron paths

 

then the return†††

††††††††† after the wearinesses

††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††† or is it nonplussedness†††

to this world

††††††††††††††††††††† †††to words

††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††† ††††to wars

†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††† ††††to waste

†† †††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††to wickedness

††††††††† a world without wonder

†††††††††† ††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††without womb

a world dying†††

††††††††††††††††††††††† dead

†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††† a tomb††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††

†††† ††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††see only what you should see

†††††††††† ††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††words see only what eyes make belief

††††† ††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††even when words donít mean what they see

 

 

from longhand notes: a binding of poems. Paris, July 3, 1997[Revised May 2003]††††††††††††††